One of the things that gets me about writing is that I've got to sit inside of my character's head and try to understand how they feel to in some ways to try to feel the way they do. Any character you write will have a piece of you in there and when you start looking into it a character's current emotional state might mirror some part of your psyche. Asaros in some ways reflects a part of me, the part of me who is tired of watching bigoted people screw people over, see people at the top preaching ugliness hiding behind this wall of 'respectability' because it's not their word, it's the word of a higher being and many religious people I know will agree with me when I say this, "that's bullshit". The difference, however, is that she's living it and it'd be wrong of me to say I understand how she feels as I lead a much, much more comfortable lifestyle, which of course makes Asaros a difficult character to write. I have been writing some of Asaros' emotional moments as of late and given all the shit that has been thrown at her and all she's witnessed she's going to have moments where she just breaks down, after all, she's only human, even though she considers herself to be the strong martyr type.
In my original draft Asaros was this young, naive yet strong leader type taking on a revolution without much weakness, but she also wasn't that human. The considerations I had were: given her situation, will she be all that strong? She'd want to be and she'd try to be. She wants to get back at those who have her people living in fear but also those who have taken everything from her. I think actually, she'd have quite a level of vulnerability underneath her shell right from chapter 1. The other consideration is that will she really be able to lead a revolution? I think she'd like to, but she lacks the ability and the qualities and certainly after chapter 1 she doubts herself. Of course mistakes are made in order to learn, who knows? Asaros is a lot stronger when she's around the people she cares for, so there's always potential for her to change.
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