Cambridge Word Fest Day 1

Free WiFi on a bus, bonus! It makes the 1 hour journey go a lot faster, yes I can't live without the internet. I did end up reading a really interesting article by Hugh Grant where he bugs the bugger in interviewing an ex-News of the World journalist: Hugh Grant strikes back
It's definitely worth a read.

I got into Cambridge around 12 and went straight to buy my tickets to learn the hard way to book in advance, the History writing workshop had sold out as did Dawn French's talk. Bugger! However, the poetry workshop was still available, but that was on at 4pm meaning I had 4 hours to kill in Cambridge, if it was not being stopped by a lovely pair of Mormons it was stopping by Lush, yes I am an addict, but I bought the soap that donates money to Japan, so it wasn't all self serving and materialistic, I don't even like coconut.

Anyway, I should be talking about the day: the poetry workshop with Don Paterson, it was definitely interesting. It was cool to chat with other writers of different skill and success levels (as opposed to the student environment) as well as listening to Don answer some of their intriguing and insightful comments; I felt I learned a lot about the process of writing poetry and what it means to be a poet. Interestingly his perspective was not that poetry can be used for therapy for the writer (he says when that happens it's not poetry) but is actually therapeutic for the reader, it allows the reader to connect with their own feelings and emotions rather than have the writer dictate. At least that was one thing I took away from the workshop, amongst other things. He talked a lot about neurology and poetry, how we process information in 3 second gaps, how rhythm, rhyme and meter affect the brain, how poetry uses language and how the sounds of language make you feel, not just the words. As a person very much interested by the brain and a person who studied psychology, it offered an interesting way of looking at poetry, as well as his talk about syntax and etymology - two areas of language that chime with me.

In the end I felt as though I could write poetry, most of my stuff is crap, but actually if, say, I work on the technical side of poetry I can learn to work it as second nature, so as soon as that inspiration strikes then I've got the tools for expressing it, without corrupting it thinking, "does the rhythm work? Have I got the form right?" and thinking things I shouldn't be worried about, not at least until I start editing it.

And now on to day 2, I hope that the Ian McEwan and Sam Harris session isn't fully booked because a discussion on science a morality sounds fantastic, maybe the Wiki Leaks event too as I suspect the topic of 'free speech' will come up as well as some interesting discussion on journalism. I'll remember to take pictures, even if it's just of a building in Cambridge, pictures make a blog look pretty after all.

Finding Work

The job market in the UK is pretty poor at the moment and in a financial crisis it's the way it's going to be. There's a lot of people unemployed with so few jobs to go around and with cuts being made it means more and more people have to become unemployed. With employers really only asking for people who are experienced it becomes a lot more difficult if you're a graduate or new on the job scene, hence so many under 25s are unemployed. It can actually be a disheartened process, trying to find work, not just because of the lack of replies and those few rejections, but it's coming across jobs where you think, "fantastic! That sounds perfect!" and then there's that catch, "must have had 3 or more years experience in the industry", it's a catch-22, you need experience to get the job, but you need the job to get the experience. Heck, I come across jobs that are advertised as "London" and end up think, "central London? 45mins by train", then it turns out to not really be in London at all, but all the way on the other side, 2+ hours away. Other catches may simply be just, "must speak French". I almost got an interview for a London PR job, they were enthusiastic about my CV but the employer was worried about the commute, I sent them information about it and when they got back to me (a week later), they basically said, "sorry, we found somebody else". Then there's the mindset of, "I'll take what I can get", a job is better than no job and you can still continue to find work and build up your skill set, even do a course if need be. The trouble with that one is: are you necessarily cut out for the jobs you've applied for? Will you enjoy working there? A temporary set up isn't bad if you're not enjoying your work, as it's not forever. But in getting a job, you need to be able to sustain it and feel comfortable enough to successfully do your job.

I managed to find work in a second hand store, I've worked in retail before and I found it quite easy and enjoyed it somewhat, some customers can be awesome and that was one of the perks. But the second hand store was actually a completely different experience, you're not a 'shop assistant' you're a 'salesman' and that's a completely different mindset. It's not, "what can I do for you?" but, "what can I do to make money from this person?" Helping a customer is only good if it helps you. My job was to work as a seller on the shop floor and a buyer around the back.  All of my training was on the job and I don't think I did too badly when it came to buying. Essentially you've got to value an items based on whether you can sell it or not (if you can't, don't buy it), what condition it's in and whether it's safe (so, do electrical tests on electrical items), see what it is brand new and decide what a customer is likely to pay for that item in store. Some items will be considerable a LOT lower than retail, somebody's not going to pay £60 for a Sky Box, even though that would be seemingly a reasonable second hand price compared to brand new.

Some items require a punt because you're taking a risk, for example, if a watch has a brand name, but no sign of model it is and you research what the watch is worth and find out they range from £50 to £300 depending on model, you have to offer the lower end. It was an interesting part of the job, but I can't say I enjoyed all of it, my mindset is very much, "I should be helping customers, not exploiting them", so obviously, being a salesman isn't something I can feel passionate about, even though I was capable of doing it - one of the mistakes I made when I started was, my supervisor was about to sell a PS2 to a customer who was going to buy it just for the controller, instead I turned around and said, "I think we actually have a controller over here", turning a £29.99 sale into a £4.99 sale. My supervisor face-palmed it. I learned from that: a girl was looking to replace her iPod Nano, instead of buying the Nano, I managed to make the iPod Touch more appealing and she walked away happy with the more expensive item. Because a lot of people who go into a second hand store are desperate for money, it doesn't feel right to hand them less money than they'd get selling it elsewhere and at times I felt really uncomfortable.

Unfortunately people desperate for money need somewhere quick to acquire it and second hand stores need to stay in business. I did end up losing the job, well, I was on trial, which was extended from 1 month to 3 months because they liked me and were happy with the effort I put it. In the end they felt there were parts of the job that weren't for me and therefore I wouldn't be suitable to keep the job - they pointed out my positive traits, suggested lines of work where they'd be beneficial. E.g. my ability to analyze things in detail, they didn't need detail, they needed something quick and simple. Interestingly, they employed me knowing my skills were set for a completely different kind of job, but employed me based on my attitude, so it's at least great to know your own strengths and know that you have a positive enough attitude to impress an employer. But it does mean, as of one month ago, I've been back to looking for work and I swear there's even fewer jobs about than before. Personally I would have preferred to stick at it and work towards my own career goals with a temporary job to just support me.

So...what do I do to try and find the right job now? Well, I've got the opportunity to build myself as a writer. The Cambridge Word Fest is this weekend and it'll be nice to show my face and try to get to know some folk and pick up some advice on using my skills to benefit me in employment or finding some kind of success. I know I'll definitely be working on some short stories and articles then submitting them to publications and even try and revive myself as a storyteller, which I haven't paid attention to for almost a year. It's kind of difficult to get out there when you lack the freedom, I live in a village with no buses and one that's in the walking distance of nowhere and I don't drive, nor have the funds to learn or to fund a car. Now that summer is on the way, it'd probably be a good idea to invest in a bike.

Music and Writing

A good piece of music can fit in with a piece of writing and I find one of the things that helps me write is a great piece of music. Now, a playlist needs to be as carefully considered, you see, anything that's too catchy might have you singing along, something with a good beat might have you nodding your head and of course you music can serve as another distraction if you're not careful. I know some who can't listen to music when writing and that's fine, but for me, it's pretty much a requirement. It comes handy when the music suits the the mood for piece of writing you're creating. I mean, you can't write a depressing scene where, say, a mother holds her dying child in her hands and you're listening to something as happy as Bowling for Soup - particularly 'I'm Gay', which is a song all about being happy, maybe somebody ought there can, but I'd be torn between two emotion, "la la la! I'm so happy!" and "Oh my God, what have I done? I just killed a child with my pen, I'm so horrible!" Likewise, you don't want to be listening to the most depressing song in your library and you're writing a bit of fun, maybe two kids having the time of their life and you're on the verge of slitting your own wrists because you can't stand listening to My Chemical Romance (nor can I, to be fair), it doesn't mix.

I've found my writing playlist sometimes consists of Tarot, Therion, Evergrey and even Judas Priest. Therion has this mythological edge, particularly with albums like 'The Secret of the Runes', which is an album dedicated to the locations in Norse mythology, but also have this song called, "After the Inquisition: The Children of The Stone", it's the closing track of one of the most...interesting albums I've listened to -some of the vocals are sung by a choir of children - I can imagine myself writing about one of the darker parts of my novel, because of the title, I think it's kind of chilling, just because of the Spanish Inquisition. Tarot, I think it's more or less songs like, "The End of Everything" and "Gone", which suit some of Asaros' moods in The Delusion Wing. But I think Evergrey probably has the perfect album, particularly in writing The Delusion Wing, which is 'The Inner Circle', which is a very powerful and emotional album with fantastic vocals, and of course they're fantastic, they're Swedish and they're not Abba. The album takes on the perspective of being a part of (what I assume is) a Christian cult and takes on the themes of cult worship and uses audio clips that create the image of there being some evangelical preacher. And it ends with the track, 'When the Walls Go Down', which is very emotionally driven and we see a man at the mercy of God in some kind of emotional breakdown.As my characters basically have their mental health dragged through the dirt and in many ways are at the mercy of God and suffer in a society lead by a cultist leader, it is fantastic to write to and keeps you in the right frame of mind. Here's the video (opening track) from the album:

And get this, I've got tickets to see the band Kamelot at the end of April, who are being supported by Evergrey, so it will no doubt be an awesome experience.

So, that's Tarot, Therion and Evergrey explained, but why Judas Priest? Frankly, I don't know. I guess it's just because they're awesome to listen to, your playlist doesn't necessarily have to fit your writing, I suppose you could say my characters are...'Breaking the Law', but if Breaking the Law were the anthem for Chapter 1, I think it would just ruin the whole thing, because I'd have this image of Rob Halford kicking the door down shouting at the guards, "Breaking the law, breaking the law". It could be worse, it could be Dee Snider exploding in front of The Evangelist screaming, "I Wanna Rock!" If Twisted Sister had a cameo, horrible things would just happen, so I need to get that thought out of my head.

Pen And Paper

The traditional tools of the trade, pen and paper. You sit down and just write, but why use pen and paper when you can use a computer? Especially as you'll need to type it up anyway? Well it's to get away from the glare of your screen, maybe to avoid some of those annoying distractions or simply because it feels more natural. I find just using pen and paper can be one of the greatest ways to explore ideas and rapidly get down that first part of your writing - or even adding new material when you're editing. Also, the biggy, you're less inclined to go back and edit what you've written on a piece of paper because you don't have that luxury, unlike on a computer you can go, "well that sentence was awkward, lets change that", at least not without rewriting the whole thing, it's something I'm certainly guilty of and it's a real pain because it can impede on progress.

Pen, Paper and Most Importantly, a Cup of Tea

There's this trouble, however, I seem to have a thing for using nice pens. I refuse to write with a cheap biro or anything like that - somebody actually bought me a box of biros as a present because they thought, "Writer? Hmm, they'll like pens," and whilst it's true enough and I appreciate the thought, if I have to use a pen it HAS to be nice and believe it or not, paper too - I remember writing on cheap Woolworths value paper, then bought more expensive Oxford paper and now I use one of the Oxford 'Black n' Red' books and they're bloody nice to write in. It seems like something silly to spend money on - I mean that £7.99 Parker pen (see I had restraint enough to buy the cheapest) could have been spend on something more useful. But what can I say? I'm a bloody idiot. Saying that, I bought the parket because the £11 pen I bought broke, it was nice, but actually, this Parker is a lot nicer. I know, a pen is a pen, but sometimes you have to appreciate the finer things in life, like that cup of tea in the picture, it's not Yorkshire Tea or Tetley tea, oh no, it doesn't even come in a tea bag, no it's a special cup of Rooibos imported all the way from Nottingham! This is perhaps a sign that not only am I clearly a sad bastard, but an English one (even if I was born in Wales).

Spring is a Time for Writing

Spring is warm, the sun is out at long last and you're not freezing to death, it's a season of new life and therefore it should be the season of inspiration! The birds are blooming and the flowers are singing...erm, well yes, indeed! Writers, get your arses into gear, get out of your bloody houses and embrace the world out there and write something! Saying that I am stuck in my bedroom with some classic Opeth blasting out of my speakers, but hey, I'll probably take my laptop into the garden once my battery has charged. I've got some character writing to do, as Asaros needs a proper introduction and for the reader to see into her head more and to make her more vivid in the minds of the reader, at the same time, trying to not make her sound too angsty, after all, she hates the world, but not in the PMS struck teenager kind of way, but with actual reason. And at the same time I'm trying to think like a girl, so in preparation, I've been spending twice as long in the shower, spending evenings doing my hair and I've got a fabulous handbag! Oh I kid, I've always been like that and my handbag by the way, it's Gucci. Ridiculous stereotypes like that wouldn't make sense, she doesn't even brush her hair, let alone finding herself spending the weekend trying to make it pretty, as for showers, well she's in a state of mind of, "I can't be arsed with this shit anymore", so that's her health and hygiene included. She's not there to impress anybody, and why should she?



Anyway, I have decided this Spring that I'm going to behave - it'll be a time for me to say, "screw this hermit attitude" from the Winter months and get out there. Coming up from 15th to 17th April is the Cambridge Wordfest and in all my years of living only a bus journey away I've never actually been to one. Why the hell not? I used to go to all kinds of events when studying in Derby, so why don't I actually do something here? I might learn something, even find advice on using my skills as a writer to find employment - as I've been unemployed since 10th March. I could probably even see what I can do about my spoken word side of things, as the last time I've done anything like that was last July when I was doing Storytelling in front of an audience at The Voice Box in Derby, and what better way to prepare for 5th May for my return to Derby to perform in front of Creative Writing students. Then of course there's the Cambridge Storytellers, who I still need to meet up with - I saw them once in Derby and really, really ought to go to one of their meetings. The Cambridge Wordfest this year will star Dawn French talking about her book 'More than A Tiny Bit Marvellous', Simon Armitage to talk about his new collection of work, Seeing Stars, PD James, Sam Harris, Ian McEwan and many more. Hopefully it'll be an event made of win.
The URL is here: http://www.cambridgewordfest.co.uk/

This photo of Cambridge is courtesy of TripAdvisor

Now that I've come to the end of my post, I've missed that chance of sunshine, it's started bloody raining! Sod it!

The End of Productivity

I've noticed one thing between writers, it's so easy to find something that distracts you, some vice or another. It's actually quite easy to become the victim of procrastination, you sit down at your computer, open up Microsoft Word or sit with pen in hand at your desk, whichever, and then there's something, a book, a bottle cap, an untidy bedroom, a television, a computer, maybe an alien invasion or perhaps, there's zombies trying to tear down your door. First thing to note if you want to keep on writing is that zombies aren't real, they're a myth and if aliens were really invading, they could probably vaporize your house so escape is futile, it's all in your head, it might make an interesting plot - the procrastinated writer who had to fight off a zombie alien invasion with the power of voodoo (who do? You do? Do what? Remind me of the babe!). See how easy it is? In this very simple blog post I have gone completely off topic.

My Scholar

As a game geek, my distraction is obvious, video games. On Friday three things happened: I bought Pokemon: White and Fable III and Final Fantasy XI's servers went back online. There's no guessing what I've not been doing, writing. My Level 70 Scholar needed to face Professor Gunther Schultz II so he could level past 70, alas, my old professor wiped the floor with me, which could have been evaded if I bothered to pay 100,000gil for a Dispel spell, which would have erased his Shell III (resists magic attack) and my magic would have hit him twice as hard! Then of course, I've got to lead the resistance in Fable III and defeat my first gym leader in Pokemon. Hey, if I wasn't living in reality that would be a somewhat celebratory weekend - sure I lost a fight, but hey! I saved a village from starvation, so eat on that Bono!


But what's the answer? you plan to do something, but your body decides to go against it? Simple, kill your distraction, take a sword, a gun your bare bands, stab it, shoot it, strangle it, whatever...that doesn't mean if your kids or wife are a distraction you murder them, I am speaking more figuratively here. Move away from them, move them away from your working space, keep your working space clean, untidiness IS a distraction, if worst comes to worst, sit down in the library, it's a surprisingly productive place. Saying that, with access to the Internet, I am still capable of accessing blogger.com and writing this blog post instead of getting on with any actual writing. But hey, it's better than defeating yet ANOTHER Shadowlord (seriously why do so many RPGs have them?)

The Indoctrination Process

Having somebody to read and comment on your writing always comes in handy. You can always get so worked up in what you're doing and find that actually, a fresh pair of eyes can do a world of good to improve what you're writing. You can be reading what you've written with a very clear vision of what you've got and it may even flow well for you, but then you're the one who has written it, your pacing can be way off, there can be very little description and you can be doing too much in only a few words. A friend who's going to be straight and honest about your writing is a good friend to have, as much as it is an ego booster to have somebody turn around and say, "hey this is great!" but it bears little use when it comes to improving what you've got, though it's somewhat useful being told what you're doing right (so you don't idiotically change it).

 The important piece of feedback I've received is that, my ideas are too big for a book and as a result, with my focus on keeping it as a single novel, it paces itself too quickly, it has too many characters to deal with and as a result, it becomes difficult to follow. What does this mean? It means I agree wholeheartedly, it means The Delusion Wing will not be able to resolve itself in a single novel, this means I've decided that what is currently chapter 10, which was originally the end of 'part 1' will be the end of the novel, calling itself, "The Indoctrination Process" for the time being. Chapter 10 is an important chapter and it would be suitable to end the novel there and if done right, it'll mean the reader will want more and hold out for the sequel. Now that means I can expand on what I've already got drafted, develop the characters more, offer the much needed description and fix the pacing and work to improve further.

So, an honest friend is a good friend for a writer indeed, after all, it can lead you to be a lot more sure on your writing, even if it means there's a lot more work for you to do. But hey, redrafting is a learning process, you learn what works and what doesn't until it stands at a position where you're almost happy with the results(internal editors are like disappointed mothers, no matter how hard you try, there's no pleasing them).